The Neverending Story - Michael Ende

Book Recommendation: It's Better Than the Movie (Spoilers)

Most of us remember the 1980s movie with what looked like a giant flying dog when we think of The Neverending Story. I vaguely remember seeing the film as a kid and cataloging it away in the 80s memorabilia of my mind. 

I only discovered the book in 2014 and learned that the author, Michael Ende, was inspired by his father, Edgar Ende's Surrealist paintings. I was intrigued by the paintings depicting dream-like scenes with angels, faceless men, corpses surrounded by umbrellas, and giant bird wings emerging from hills of sand. 

In one, a line of naked, faceless men wait, hammers in hand, as if to drive nails into a distant figure at the end of a hall mounted on a crucifix. 

The paintings have that terror-wonder quality of dreams where the mundane meets the horrific or the wondrous. We are swimming on the surface and plunging to the depths of our minds.

Mainly out of fascination for the paintings, I ordered the book. 

I expected a more fleshed-out version of the film I remembered seeing as a child. A boy discovers a book, The Never Ending Story; he is pulled into the book to help the hero of the story save the land and the child princess that rules it. To save the world, the boy must confirm his beliefs and say the princess's name. 

The story I discovered was much better and quite different. 

On the surface, it is a children's story where, yes, a boy, Bastian, an overweight, lonely, heartbroken boy, steals a book and hides himself away in the school's attic to lose himself in the book. 

The story he discovers is lovely and horrific, just like the stuff of dreams - a magical land with wonderous creatures, myths, and legends disappearing into nothingness. 

The nothingness appears in patches. Places and creatures slowly vanish; worse, those around it are drawn to it and even start to march toward the void, drawn to it and their unmaking in some perverse way.

It takes a child to save the world. Two children, really. A hero and the boy who entered the story. The two need to believe in the world and reimagine it to stop it from disappearing. 

Along the way, Bastian rides the heady wave of being the story's creator, reimagining himself as a handsome prince, the strongest and the fastest in all the land. He discovers that with each wish he makes, the world changes according to his whim, but with each wish, he travels further from his true self and loses his memories of the real world. 

By the end, Bastian only remembers his name, a precious piece of information he must hold onto to return home. He must remember someone from the world he wants to return to but has lost all his memories. He struggles to remember his father while unearthing delicate paintings in an underground mine, each so fragile that the slightest touch will disintegrate it.

I found this book when I was extremely sleep-deprived and going through post-partum depression. It made more sense to me than the real world at the time. I highly recommend it to anyone going through a difficult time who believes in the healing power of stories and the imagination. 

Art4Accountability / September 2023

Focusing on the Making

The Fall is a tough time for me. 

It's the anniversary of my brother's death, and always brings back difficult memories.

At the end of August, there was another sudden death of a young person in our family which has had me very depressed. 

There are no words for losing a child or young person. It is not in the natural order of things. 

Creating has provided me with hope when I thought there was none. At some fundamental level, it is all we have in the face of loss, despair, and grief. 

Emily Dickinson wrote that depression is 'a funeral in the brain', and it does feel like that. 

Art, and I know the word is problematic, is shorthand. The word is overloaded. It conjures up too many disparate notions - most associated with 'works of art' - a Picasso painting, a Victor Hugo novel. Behind it is a snobbish assumption that something must be 'good enough' to be considered 'art'. 

But, for me, art is simply creating, making the intangible tangible. It is a process, not a product. Art, for me, is about the making itself. 

For many, this might sound like nonsense. 

We live in a performative culture; the assumption is that if we're creating anything, it must be, at some level, for others. The first thing that happens when you sit down and draw is, invariably, that someone comes and stands over your shoulder and says, 'That's so pretty.' or 'What is it?' or 'That's ugly.' 

People judge, they can't help it. 

In A History of Six Ideas (1980), Polish philosopher and art historian Wladyslaw Tatarkiewicz pointed out that there was no distinction between artist and artisan initially. Those who made art were people who worked with their hands. They were laborers. The Latin ars and Greek techne evoked the skill needed to create an object. 

This changed in the 19th century, according to Tatarkiewicz, when art, notably paintings, became a store of value, objects worthy of investment. At this point, the 'artist' needed to be delineated from the artisan; high 'art' required separating 'mere' labor, i.e., artisanal work, and 'Art' with a capital A. 

Today, it's easy to forget that when you create anything, it is fundamentally a process. You are transforming the abstract - a thought, feeling, memory, or idea - into a concrete object that can exist outside your mind. 

It is a process that demands skill, patience, hope, and, sometimes, blind obsession. 

Judgment kills that. The analytical mind can shred a kernel of inspiration to nothing.

It's too easy to forget the enormity of the act of creation. It is too easy to get caught up in whether whatever we've made is 'of value' or 'good enough.' 

Over the past four years, I've put a lot of time and energy into external validation, into making sure what I was creating was 'good enough', which I now realize has nothing to do with why I create and is essentially out of my hands. 

I know I would write stories, draw, and play music regardless if anyone else ever knew. Sometimes, I imagine I'll die with a drawer full of stories, and the thought doesn't scare me. 

Stories are how I make sense of the world. Drawing calms me down when my mind won't stop. Music soothes me when I'm too sad to speak and don't have any words to say. 

My focus for the last quarter of this year will be getting back to focusing on the making, on the process of creating, rather than the result. 

Art4Accountability Update: 

I'm glad my work project is coming to an end this week. 

While I've learned a lot over the past month, I admit I'm exhausted and depressed. While I did get through Fairy Tale, and the EoE draft this month, I still have to finish the YA Horror WIP and the five illustrations - which I'm pushing to Q4. 

I plan to take more time over the next quarter to focus on writing and (hopefully) drawing and reconnecting with what's truly important to me. 

I wish you all the best over the next month. 

Take care of yourselves. Life is short. 

Art4Accountability / August 2023

Seeing the Forest for the Trees

It's already September; where did the summer go?!

So, August…yeah, I wandered into the forest, got lost, and am now trying to find my way back.

A few excuses - I started a new job, got distracted by two books not on my TBR, and got bogged down in editing hell. All to say, I haven't exactly progressed as much as I'd hoped towards my Q3 goals this month.

Staying focused and on task is one of my biggest challenges, so these Art4 Accountability posts will hopefully help me to get back on track when I wander into the woods.

In August, my attention was a bit all over the place - work, editing, music, family responsibilities and new books. On the positive side, there were a number of (unplanned) things I learned over the past month, which I'm planning on posting about over the next few weeks. On the other hand, I realise I probably won't complete everything I’d hoped to by the end of Q3.

I’m aiming to prioritise writing over the next month, then the TBR, so I think the illustration goal will get pushed into Q4. Perhaps that makes more sense and I should really give it the time and energy it deserves rather than trying to squeeze it into 15 minute sessions at the end of a long day.

I think positive momentum is key to growing, so, I’m focusing on what I learned and accomplished this month. These include:

  • Drafting and editing the last section of EoE book 2. Now the exciting final big edit starts with my co-author Sara, where we can draw all the threads together. We aim to have the book done and edited by November for a Kickstarter launch in December. 

  • Drafting about 35k of YA Horror. It's not quite where I'd hoped I'd be by the end of the summer, but it's a start. I aim to write and edit another 35k this month (ambitious, I know). I think this will mean I'm going to have to push the illustration goals to next quarter, but, hey, sometimes things just take longer than expected. 

  • Reading two books I enjoyed, (even if they were not on my TBR). Lightbringer, a doorstop of a book (and the latest in the Red Rising Series), and Yellowface, which I'm reading with my lovely group of writerly book club friends. 

  • Learning new skills in: Adobe Illustrator, InDesign, formatting, Prologic, Video editing, as well as stumbling on a number of useful tools for creatives.

Still hoping to make a dent in my Q3 goals this month, so in September, I'm hoping to:

  • Read She is a Haunting

  • Read When Women Were Dragons

  • Finish the YA horror MS (draft another 35k + edits on full 70k). 

  • Write up what I learned in August (above) as blog posts 

  • Maintain a better work-life balance and find more time for writing  

  • Walk daily 

  • Sleep more

  • Reduce caffeine and sugar

There we go, that's it!

August was a productive month in its way, just not in any way I'd planned. 

A few great stories and series I've enjoyed over the past month:

  • Lightbringer - Pierce Brown

  • Yellowface - R.F. Kuang

  • Foundation (Apple TV) (still watching)

  • Invasion (Apple TV) (still watching)

  • Good Omens 2 (Amazon Prime) (still watching)

  • Witcher Season 3 (Netflix) - I was pleasantly surprised! 

For those of you, like me, who hope to get back to a regular writing routine in September, I recommend the following music to get you in the mood to write epic battle scenes, tragic love stories, or eerie gothic mysteries. Enjoy!

July 2023 / Art4Accountability

July 2023 Art4Accountability

July was a great month for me - lots of relaxation, family time, my birthday and some slow plodding progress on my Art4Accountability checklist.

I was lucky enough to get away to Corsica for ten days with the family. We were near Bastia on the east coast which is absolutely beautiful.

We were there for July 14th so got to see fireworks on the beach and enjoyed lots of great seafood and amazing croissants every morning.

Here’s my July ART4ACCOUNTABILITY Update:

  • Read Ghost Girl Banana

  • Read Salem’s Lot

  • Drafted and Edited up to 40k of EoE book 2**

  • Sleep More Habit (Good)

  • Reducing Caffeine (Fair)

  • Reducing Sugar (Fair)

** Where most of my time / attention has gone.

A little disappointed with my progress on the caffeine / sugar front and that I didn’t get any drawing done, but hopefully will make some headway in August.

Will aim to post an update mid-month and at the end of August. In the meantime, wishing you all the best with your creative work my friends!

EoE Book 2

Starting work on the second instalment of the Eye of the Ocean featuring underground temples, ancient mazes, and monsters of stone.

Solveig is alive but her bid to rescue Laurie lead to her mother’s capture. Her efforts to save her mother from Norfolk’s clutches and escape the island only draw her further into the ancient secrets locked in the heart of the Eye of the Ocean, secrets Norfolk and his Order of Ravens would gladly kill for.

YA Horror WIP

Hoping to finish my YA Horror WIP this summer.

Featuring an ancient mirror, a dark book of fairy tales and a man who slips through time and shadow to stalk and disappear members of the same family.

Archive 81 meets Lost Stars set in Geneva (Switzerland) in 2008.

Summer TBR

Planning to make my way through the following TBR over July and August:

Salem’s Lot, Ghost Girl Banana (book club), She is a Haunting, Fairy Tale, When Women Were Dragons, Deraciné (Uprooted in French).

Organization & Accountability

2023 Q3 GOALS

I can’t quite believe we’re almost halfway through 2023!

If you’re anything like me you may be starting to panic - will you actually finish your draft, will you get your edits done? How are you going to complete everything and keep up with your kids’ schedueles? It’s the end of year madness here - birthday parties, school events, everything and everyone seems to want to cram in an activity in June.

I’ve decided that I need to start being more realistic with my planning. I usually try to take on too much and end up starting MANY things and finishing ZERO. It’s frustrating to be so easily distracted and have your time, energy and focus pulled in so many directions. Creating anything takes time and FOCUS (and a degree of solitude those around you might not really respect or understand).

Inspired by Sarra Cannon’s HB90 Method, I’m going to try and be more realistic about the time I actually have when setting my goals for Q3.

I have 2 young kids and a parent with health issues so carving out time has been particularly challenging over the past 6 months. I’m hoping posting more regularly on Twitter and blogging here will help to keep me more accountable in tracking my goals.

So, here we go, Q3 Goals:

  • Finish YA Horror Draft by 31.08.2023 (This is a rewrite, I’ve got about 30k of a garbage fire draft out of 70k at the moment).

  • Reading TBR: Salem’s Lot, Ghost Girl Banana (book club), She is a Haunting, Fairy Tale, When Women Were Dragons, Deraciné (Uprooted in French).

  • Finish EoE Book 2 by 30.09.2023 (We’ve got about 30k drafted out of 50k at the moment).

  • Complete 5 Illustations by 30.09.2023 (This will be a challenge for me!).

  • Complete Horror Short Story (Snowfall) Serialization by 30.09.2023.

  • Sleep MORE!

  • Reduce Caffeine and Sugar (Honestly the thing I dread the most as a chocoholic!).

I plan to start posting an accountability thread on Twitter in July, if you’d like to join me in sticking to your goals over the next 3 months you can use the hashtag #art4accountability.

Wishing you a great, productive, sun-soaked summer!

Pen Names...

Mara who?

I am a big fan of pen names but I admit choosing (and explaining) one can be a little awkward.

For people who know you, the question, 'Why not just use your name?' inevitably comes up. Your friends complain it's difficult for them to find your work, others want to know what’s the story behind the name you’ve chosen.

The more I realize just how finite my time and energy are, the more effort it feels like writing under two different names. (I write non-fiction under my real name, you can check it out here.) Anyhoo, here is the story behind my pen name if anyone’s wondering…

Mara was the name of a character in one of the first short stories I wrote. I shelved the story, but the name stuck with me. 

I'm very picky about choosing names in general, for my characters, for my kids; I'm afraid of burdening them with a name that will ill-serve them - one ladened with stereotypes or one that will force them to repeat themselves several times - or be stuck with unfortunate nicknames. It's so much responsibility! Mara felt safe for my character - it's a versatile name - present across countries and cultures - it means a variety of things - from 'bitter' to 'woman' to 'joy’, all important words in my opinion! It's reasonably easy to pronounce. It doesn't draw attention to itself. It's ambiguous. It could be from many places. Hence my decision to choose it as my pen name and this website - where I endeavour to post art, stories and general rambling without too much self-critiquing or judgment. A free space.

There you go, the decision behind Mara. The rest of my name is my own. The stress of thinking up a first name was honestly enough for me!

The Eye of the Ocean 1

The Eye of the Ocean - - Collaborative Project Launching June 2021

Photo by Matheo JBT on Unsplash

Photo by Matheo JBT on Unsplash

I’m thrilled to be a part of a very exciting collaborative project - The Eye of the Ocean is an illustrated novel and highly crafted deck of playing cards designed by Lorenzo G. at Stockholm 17.

Check out the promotional material here:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/requiemcards/the-eye-of-the-ocean

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERvqfCRvjj8 

Finishing

Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
— Samuel Beckett

Starting is easy. Finishing, not so much.

I’m planning to use this space to upload work, keep myself accountable and override the perfectionist in my head.

Art is a process, not a product.

So, here’s mine…